Tuesday, February 23, 2010
what does it mean if I say no, but it comes out mumbled like yes...does it mean that I no longer know what it is that im saying NO to...does it mean that I no longer care about the lines that can be crossed...what does it mean if im always confused by your actions...
Monday, February 22, 2010
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Monday, February 15, 2010
Hug me, lay next to me, hold my hand...all of that is affection...but ME, I don't really like to hold hands or I don't really like to kiss. I actually can't remember the last time I kissed a boy. Im not big on kissing...kissing is all about liking to me. Once we kiss im all in...I can't walk away...I feel like if I kiss a boy I am confirming that I like him...and holding hands don't even get me started on that. BECAUSE I ACTUALLY SUCK AT HOLDING HANDS.
rather than a kisser, i am a hugger and a layer. there is nothing like hugging a strong man who makes you feel protected. there is NOTHING worst than a WEAK hugger. If a man can not hug, that is a DEAL BREAKER. Since I've been in college I have realized that not everyone can hug. You would think that something as simple as hugging would be done with ease, but its not. Some people are really awkard when it comes to hugs, they don't know where to place there hands, how close is to close. I mean, im no perfect hugger but I have been told for the majority of my life that my hugs are pretty GREAT. A hug to me shows exactly what you are thinking, and what you are feeling at that moment for that person. I like to hug tall men...I like to hug broad shoulders...I like to hug men who can hug back with passion...
What is it about lying down next to someone who you care about, that makes everything perfect...that makes every boring thing feel like the most eventful thing in the world? What is that feeling? It's not like, love or lust...it is just SERENE. There doesn't have to be any sex but if there is sex the cuddling is the best part. I mean I am not the most touchy-feeling person in the world but sometimes I like a good cuddling session. I like when a guy acts like he's so manly until he puts his arms around you and it feels like your in the safest place on earth. I like when im instantly safe around a guy...the worst feeling is when its time for that person to go back to their respective destinations...
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Saturday, February 13, 2010
can't say i don't miss you when i do
can't say i do when i don't
can't say i don't care when i do
can't stop when the feelings start
can't stop when you're kissing me
can't stop when you're touching me
can't stop when its urgent
can't stop when i told you to stop
can't stop when its me and you
can't ask questions, because i know the answer
can't remember what it feels like to know
can't dream, it's time to face reality
can't sing, there is no voice in me
can't breathe when your near me
can't remember who this is about
can't remember who this is not about
can't sleep, because your my dream
can't stop, even when you stop
could not stop if i wanted to
Friday, February 12, 2010
So originally I was writing this blog about "my new found friend" who is now my "ex-friend"...he is my "ex friend" because he broke our friendship up via bbm...this blog is for no one but him...lol
but when does texting become to much? does it become to much when you intended on it to be more? if your a boy and im a girl and we exchanged contact information, where you honestly just trying to be my friend..because honestly i thought you were gonna be a really good friend and all of our conversations are the bomb.com...but now you decided you don't wanna be my friend because "i don't want you to like me" how do you know? i mean im not saying that i do but i just don't believe thats a valid excuse for unfriending me...i mean im a firm believer in just going with the flow, whatever happens, happens...but you are like cancelling out all of our friendship future. that is dumb. real dumb. and i have nothing else to say about you because im sleepy...
so basically i dont want you to break our friendship up before we are friends forreal dang
Thursday, February 11, 2010
#NowPlaying- Obsessed- Mariah Carey ft Gucci Mane
So there is this guy who's been pressing me...like OD hard...so I gave him a chance these are the top 10 reasons to how I know I DO NOT like him...
1. I was on twitter/facebook/blogs and texting the whole time
2. I asked to go home 20 minutes into being around him...and I feel like he just ignored me
3. I just was REPULSED by his touch...
4. The fact that I actually held a 3o minute conversation with my sister
5. I answered my phone EVERYTIME it rang
6. I didn't leave out of his room to meet his friends...lol...and he kept asking me to come out there
7. I was thinking about someone else, the WHOLE entire time
8. I was a bitch the entire time
9. I just don't like him
10. Like seriously, im not ever gonna entertain to him
pss..i HATE his shoe game...WACK
psss.... do NOT ever PITY date someone...you are PLAYING yourself....
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Cabin Fever is REAL. I've never...I mean never felt so trapped in my life. I feel like #SnowtoriousBig was sent to torture me and every other student at Howard University. The original Snowmaggedon was cool Friday, February 5th 2011 is the day that this snow called life began...Today is February 10th and the snow is still coming strong... Can you say torture...The first two days were cute..REAL CUTE...but now this shit is played out...There aren't but so many times I can be drunk and play in the snow...with NOTHING else to do...We have been snowed in for so long now, I AM sure that some couple has broke up, another 2 people have become a couple, and others are somewhere pro-creating...This snow has tested me...ME. Especially...I was supposed to be in Dallas right now...but my flight has been cancelled TWICE...and Im set to leave tomorrow. Please believe that im out of here tomorrow..even if i have to walk.....
Cabin Fever is a claustrophobic reaction that takes place when a person or group is isolated and/or shut in, in a small space, with nothing to do, for an extended period (as in a simple country vacation cottage during a long rain or snow). Symptoms include restlessness, irritability, forgetfulness, laughter, and excessive sleeping, distrust of anyone they are with, and an urge to go outside even in the (less miserable) rain, snow or dark....
Rejection...Im so scared of rejection that I won't even attempt
Commitment...When God places a man in my life who is ready to commit...I will commit...but until I meet a MAN and not a little ass boy who is acting like a man...im running from commitment. I don't need anyone selling me dreams. Because right now if I commit to something than I committing to the thought that maybe we will work out, or maybe everything will be perfect...but we all know its not impossible but it takes a lot to make things work...and who is ready to make it work
I think relationships matter...any type of relationship is important but its not important if you are not HAPPY. Now, everyday won't be all smiles but you should have more smiles than frowns...
Valentines Day is coming up and I don't care. Im not angry. Im not bitter. I feel no type of way, but if someone loves me, than they love me everyday. Valentines day shouldn't be the only day I feel loved.
Monday, February 8, 2010
I often quote one of my favorite people and say "if not me, than who?" But now I have to wonder, if not me, than will it be her? As a woman, Im always wondering if I say no, than will another girl say yes...I think the answer to the question is DUH. For every time you say no there will be some uber thirsty girl who will say YES. When is it a problem? I think it becomes a problem when you are no longer even asked or given the option to say NO. What happens when you began to think you no longer will be asked questions that will make you say NO or YES. Honestly, I want to know what this means to a guy... We are together everyday. We talk on the phone...(not text but actually talk)...I was gonna say more but what's the point...when a girl spends everyday with a guy and he SHOWs her more than enough attention it means something to a girl...I don't know what it means to a BOY but it means alot to a female. Im with you everyday, how am I not suppose to catch feelings? how am I not gonna feel a certain way when I have not talked to you in days...in hours... but a BOY on the other hand can spend this entire week with you and it means nothing to him once you leave....he is #ontothenextone...but you--as a woman are pondering over everything you said...did I say this wrong? did i answer that question wrong? did I do to much? What you did was care...what you did was stay the whole week with him...what you did was make him believe you were to into it/him/all that jazz about him...Even though im not a man and I don't know what they think, I think I know certain things about them.. because this is when you start to ask questions like...her? over me? After you spent a consistent week with him and you didn't get the next week...your wondering...is she there? whoever she may be...you keep questioning whether or not its your fault that you didn't get the call back...you didn't get the call back because you deserve better...you don't deserve to question whether or not this man/boy will call you back...
Each person comes into this world with a specific destiny--he has something to fulfill, some message has to be delivered, some work has to be completed. You are not here accidentally--you are here meaningfully. There is a purpose behind you. The whole intends to do something through you.
when someone shows you who they are, you must believe them...because if a guy tells you he is an ass hole, 9 times out of 10 he is an ass hole.
this post is not necessarily about a guy--but more or less about the actions of this guys other girl...SO, my question is....in college when is it okay to be serious? and how do you know if your really serious? See me, Im the type to not ask questions--i just go with the flow...I've never felt like I had to mark my territory or express that im the one...because if your really the one like you think you are---that shit wouldn't need to be expressed. So who gon' check me boo? But now I must ask myself---is it my fault because I don't ask questions...should I ask questions when i'am not looking for monogamy? I don't want to be committed. I want it all with out the title...I don't want to be anyones girlfriend anytime soon...but I don't want to be a #sidelinechick, especially when I thought you weren't looking for monogamy either...but clearly you weren't looking for monogamy with me because you already had it with her...and thats probably why I should ask questions...because now someone feels like they can #checkme...and it aint going down like that...
I feel like im playing a different game than most...You say you want a girl who does not ask questions...does not sweat you...does not stalk...but when you get that girl who does everything you asked for...you want the girl who is always doing something extra...you want the girl who's sweating you, stalking you and asking all the questions...you want the girl who's checking another girl over you but you don't claim either...it makes no sense to me....but who gon' check me boo?
So, im starting to think that- YOU, don't know what you want...you want everything except the shit you asked for plus what you asked for...
part 2 in the A.M.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Who is as bored as I am???
What is there to do in the snow??
These are the 10 things that I would do in the snow if I was amazingly cool...
1.Read a good book....maybe do some homework if thats not pushing it...because who wants to be snowed in doing homework...that is NOT the business
2.CLEAN UP...like seriously..do all the cleaning that you've been meaning to do...
3. Have a glass of wine...
3b...play a drinking game...how much can you drink with out passing out....
5. Call your parents...
6. Go sledding...release your inner child
7. Just go back to sleep...
9. Watch stupid people get stuck in the snow..
10. Be nice and help the stupid people get out the snow
11. Take Pictures...who will ever believe you got stuck in 28 inches of snow
pssss...11 was a bonus
Friday, February 5, 2010
I remember when I wouldn't leave out the house because I didn't wanna miss your call or miss the chance to be around you...but now your gone... and all I have are these memories...its kind of like a sad song... you know?? I feel like everyone male or female has experienced something like this---the can't sleep, can't breathe, can't eat, can't do anything type of feeling---I remember when I felt like this before, I promised myself that I would never feel like that again...and its been 3yrs since i felt like that...and in these 3 years it was all about growing for me...finding out who Jasmin was...because when your in a relationship (especially an unhealthy one) you forget who you are...I forgot all the small things that made me, Me. I forgot that I didn't need him to make me happy. I forgot that there was a me before there was an us...and sometimes I talk about it because im OVER it...and I don't want anyone to go through what I went through...But the pain of love waits for noone.....being in love, being in like and even being in hate its so tricky....you never know what to say, what to feel, what to do...but you have to move on...if this served you no purpose and you have never felt this way than your like my mother...I asked my mom if she ever had her heart broken...guess what her answer was.....NO..my parents have been together for 32 years with no serious heartbreaks...thats the reason i believe in love...maybe the sole reason...but i do believe...
im snowed in and i was just thinking...
A womanizer is a
i don't know about you, but sometimes i do some stupid shit...
like keep talking to him when i know i shouldn't...
keep complaining about the same shit, and not changing it
keep on settling...its always bad when you say "im so over this shit" but then you still on it
i mean everyone knows you must love yourself first, in order to find someone who will equally love you but i love my self a WHOLE lot and look at me...
it must be true that you are the people who you date
because the BOY i like is a WOMANIZER....and a womanizer not in the sense that he hits women...but he HITS if you catch my drift...he loves WOMEN...just like i love MEN, and if you know me-- you know that I LOVE LOVE LOVE men....but the difference between girls and boys and men and women is that a guy will date 20 girls because he believes that they all add up to the 1 girl that he is trying to date...but as a girl we will have 63 major qualifications and that 1 guy will have 40 and we will be completely contempt with that....
to be continued
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Everything in my life always seems to be aligned. I believe that. I believe in God. I believe that he shows me different things so that I can respond ...even if you don't believe in God, I know that you believe that alot of the things that happen to you..don't just happen at once--but when they happen or are happening, you are worried. I've learned not to worry, and thats where the Footprints in the Sand poem comes in...whenever you think you are alone, you aren't...come back to this poem and it will be clear...
Footprints in the Sand
One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,
other times there were one set of footprints.
This bothered me because I noticed
that during the low periods of my life,
when I was suffering from
anguish, sorrow or defeat,
I could see only one set of footprints.
So I said to the Lord,
"You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you,
you would walk with me always.
But I have noticed that during
the most trying periods of my life
there have only been one
set of footprints in the sand.
Why, when I needed you most,
you have not been there for me?"
The Lord replied,
"The times when you have
seen only one set of footprints in the sand,
is when I carried you."
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
No longer forward nor behind
I look in hope and fear;
But grateful take the good I find,
The best of now and here.
John G. Whittier
psss.... This picture represents so much to me...grabbing the moon...there are no ceilings in my room....there are no mountains that I cannot climb...there are no limitations to my thoughts...no limitations to what I will do...
pssss.... reach for the sky...it belongs to you...
Whenever you decide that you want something, you never can give up. You have to stay driven, stay focused...but what happens when someone wakes you up from that dream...
The thing about dreaming is that you can only dream when your sleeping...when you wake up its all over...So if im dreaming about the future don't wake me. Don't wake me because I don't exactly know what it is im dreaming about...if this was MTV Diary...my opening would say "you think you know, but you have no FUCKING idea...Shit, I barely even know." I don't know what I want to dream about, I barely know if I want to sleep. I don't want my dreams to turn into nightmares and my nightmares to turn into reality.
I'll tell you what happens when someone wakes you up from your dream,you get your ass up and you DO!!! Do what you never thought that you could do...do what everyone believed you couldn't do. Be the person who everyone else inspires to be...I keep saying im afraid to wake up from this DREAM, and then I realized im doing something they believed I couldn't do. I beat the odds...Mama, daddy look at me!!! Im almost there...and when I get there...Im gonna Take a knee and thank the Man then get back to the money...
you ain't know, i gotta go
Miss Understood <3
This is Profit aka Billy Bang just follow the link...
***** -----> 5 stars from me
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
when was the last time you slow danced... i was reading about this on one of my favorite blogs www.untiligetmarried.com/2010/01/26/bring-back-the-slow-dance/ and I realized i've never slow danced. I danced with my father, my brothers, my deceased aunt and my mom. But i HAVE NEVER danced slowly with a man, or even a boy for that matter. Before Howard, I did not dance. I repeat BEFORE HOWARD I DID NOT DANCE. But since HU, ive been juking, dutty winding and all of the other dances that have corrupted me... but i've never slow danced...and I wonder why... I hate to reiterate what I read in that blog-- but where is the slow dancing music...I can not slow dance to Gucci- Lemondade...The only thing my nieces probably know about slow dancing is daddy-daughter dances...and I wonder will my 1st time slow dancing be at something for my wedding...im trying to think if I slow-danced at Prom with Jason...i think he was too cool...i think he swayed with me...but I don't think we got on the dance floor when they played Justin Timberlake ft Beyonce- Until the End of Time remix...(this was the prom song, it was OUR song) I think he was standing behind me whispering in my ear about how we'd be together forever...hahaha!! i have to rewind to Prom...My prom was AMAZING...but back to slow dancing...I want to slow dance, someone dance with me slow. There doesn't even have to be music playing...I just wanna slow dance. I feel like thats gonna be special...
Miss Understood <3
I never went on a date with the boy from "Date Text".... Thats not what im looking for. Im not looking for anything but that's not what I want. I was gonna go on the date for the free food...but I can feed myself. I'd rather have my pride. You have to set standards for yourself. You have to believe that you deserve the best. If you don't believe in you; who will? I believe that I should be courted. Not just courted until "you get me" but courted until I am some mans wife.