Thursday, April 29, 2010

And i may be back

I have been thinking that I need to write, I have so much pint up aggression. I have so much to say and I can't find the words to say it. This semester has been the roughest for me...but I have been smiling all along because I don't even know whats been going on with me...but enough of this melancholy stuff...

Let me get back to being me...

The fun stuff that makes my life exciting isn't exciting me...WHAT does that mean?




Tuesday, April 13, 2010

i apologize.

"In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure." Bill Cosby

i know I have not posted in a while, but when I get it together...I promise I will be back...but only when I get it together...

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

question existing?

@Wale #Question ...do yall think that every relationship has oneperson who is dating sum1 out of their league & 1 person who is settling?

Now I think that is a great question something that im always thinking it may even be the reason why I am NOT in a relationship now. Wale said that he agrees with his statement and I do too. I don't think we should have to settle but I know that we all do. We settle for the one who handles all of our bullshit instead of changing for the one who may really deserve. Recently, I have noticed that women are SETTLING and dating men who they think have potential rather than men who are equally as successful as them. With a majority of our black men in jail, gay and just not in college what am I suppose to do as a Black Woman should I date outside my race? The world should teach you to be a woman that does not have to settle...but it should also teach you to not be afraid to step outside your comfort zone....by 26 if im not in a committed relationship with A BLACK MAN, I will no longer rely on black men as my only option. but, who's outta your league? the ex-con? the dr? the athlete? the musician? or as a STRONG successful black woman are you out of the league for all these men pursuing you? maybe its not really settling, it may just be stepping out the box.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Make me smile

Ever since the passing of Davon I haven't really posted; I haven't had much to say. I've been weird. I miss him, but I know he is resting in Paradise.
I've been thinking of all things that make me smile, and I have come to the conclusion that it is the small stuff.

1. I love when people smile at me...it makes me happy
2. I love when people open up around me; people are usually so guarded around me so when they open up it makes me happy
3. Laugh with me
4. Give me a GREAT hug
5. Tell me a story
6. Show me your talent
7. Show me your heart
8. Be you
9. Sing-A-Long to songs with me
10. Rap battle with me----im nice on the mic, or the hairbrush, or the pop bottle

hmmm

Even though I like you, I wont allow you to get the best of me!

Today someone asked me, what’s my favorite quote and I didn’t hesitate I said “those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind”. To me this quote sums up the relationship between people. This is the segue into my mind. I knew it was over before it began; the whole time Im doing this for me. Im talking about a guy…this guy is boy A. Me and boy A have been doing this thing…I wouldn’t call it talking, I wouldn’t call it dating…I would just call it a thing. This thing just got extremely strange.

I think im the reason that relationships don’t work out…I give too much in the beginning and I just do it because Im just a giving person. I treat every guy I DATE, and I mean date like a boyfriend even if I don’t want them to be my boyfriend; and what ive realized is that everyone doesn’t deserve the best of me (that means friends as well). I don’t mean I should be a bitch and give you nothing but I mean not everyone deserves to get the best of me. by the best of me, I mean not everyone deserves the treatment that I would give my potential boyfriend because then he expects the world when he’s just giving me Washington DC. And as I get older I understand what my daddy used to say….”don’t give major time to minor folks” every nigga (and I use the term loosely)does not deserve a woman to wash his clothes, cook for him and help him. i digress there are some amazing men. AMAZING but there are also some boys in men clothing. Pretending that they deserve a woman who will help to make them better but in actuality they are not prepared to handle such a woman…