Long Distance Relationships; Friend or Foe?

Long Distance Relationships. Is it the perfect relationship because you all are not pressuring one another, all in each others face? Or does it lack authenticity when you need that touch and you can't get it? Should there be rules? What kind of rules? How do you make it work?

In situations in which you are not dating anyone else; not because you can't, but just because you don't want to. I would rather be with one man who makes me happy 96% of the time than to mess around. Now if he's messing around; thats another story. Not saying that its ok for a man to be involved with another woman when he claims to be in a relationship; but men will be men. I don't agree with cheating. I agree with monogamy; I believe in it. I believe that it can work. I feel as if it all can work.

In a Long Distance Relationship you need Trust, Independence, Commitment and a Schedule.

Commitment goes without saying; we clearly are trying to make this work so lets decide if were committed apart or just committed together. Because there is a difference. Trust; you have to have trust because without it your relationship will not stand the test. As a woman, I have to not let my insecurities get the best of me. I have to believe that when he says' 'I'll call you right back' that he is not calling someone else. I have to believe it because if I don't; I will drive myself wild. Independence. Im learning this one slowly. You have to still enjoy yourself; if you don't you will be miserable thinking that you have to sit in the bed waiting on him to call. Have fun, but not to much. Schedule. Make time for one another. Speak frequently. Text, sext...lol. Send pictures (no face).

So my question is; are long distance relationships your friend or your foe?

The Pros to Long Distance Relationships

1. Whenever he sees you, you are on point.

2. It is always intense; sex is intense; kissing is intense; looks are intense....everything is intense

3. You realize if its for you- by this I mean you realize if you can handle it and is it worth it

The Cons

1. Arguments; in LDR's one argument can change everything.

2. Schedule conflicts; one of the hardest things to me has been not being able to speak with him when I want to. Him not being available when I need him, or shall I say want.

3. Miscommunications; One of the hardest things that your relationship will encounter will be miscommunications...if thats the right phrase. One wrong moment, one wrong anything can change everything.

Every relationship is different. Every man is different from every woman but we all have some commonalities. We all love-love. We all love to be loved. In a LDR, you have to make sure that you all are doing everything it takes to make one another feel that way. I will not say he is perfect because trust me he is not. but there is nothing about him I'd change...well maybe a few...

Me, him and her.

I never said I was interested in a three-some but I find myself in one right now. Me, him and her. When we met, I knew about her and I knew what he told me about her. I knew how he hated going home and how he said that he had to be stupid drunk to just be around her...The situation was a lot so I said ‘we can only be friends...’ but somewhere down the line just like we exchanged phone numbers, we exchanged feelings. He said they were over, but again the situation was still very sticky. Once we exchanged these feelings I forgot about her butsubconsciously I knew it was ME, HIM and HER. I knew it was her, when randomly he’d disappear or she’d call and the mood was altered. So the relationship between him and I changed and I find myself questioning his intentions. I knew about her not by name or anything but she is very much apart of this thing that he and I have. What are you supposed to do when your in a situation like this...and why do these ‘situations’ keep happening to me? And what are you supposed to do when feelings are involved? When we are together everyday, when he calls-my heart smiles, when I leave him- i miss him, when I see him- I have to kiss him...who’s fault is this? Recently, I’ve been wondering should I be ‘dating’ other people.We had ‘THE’ conversation and it was made clear that he didn’t expect me to date anyone but him. I didn’t say this to him but in the back of my mind im thinking...me and him. him and her. me, him and her. so am i only allowed to date him, and he can date me and her...huh? according to him, they are not dating...should I stop before it goes any further? I just smirked because im probably not going anywhere, but just don’t think i’ll be caught slipping.

question existing?

@Wale #Question ...do yall think that every relationship has oneperson who is dating sum1 out of their league & 1 person who is settling?

Now I think that is a great question something that im always thinking it may even be the reason why I am NOT in a relationship now. Wale said that he agrees with his statement and I do too. I don't think we should have to settle but I know that we all do. We settle for the one who handles all of our bullshit instead of changing for the one who may really deserve. Recently, I have noticed that women are SETTLING and dating men who they think have potential rather than men who are equally as successful as them. With a majority of our black men in jail, gay and just not in college what am I suppose to do as a Black Woman should I date outside my race? The world should teach you to be a woman that does not have to settle...but it should also teach you to not be afraid to step outside your comfort zone....by 26 if im not in a committed relationship with A BLACK MAN, I will no longer rely on black men as my only option. but, who's outta your league? the ex-con? the dr? the athlete? the musician? or as a STRONG successful black woman are you out of the league for all these men pursuing you? maybe its not really settling, it may just be stepping out the box.

Man Laws

these are the things that I feel like all MEN should do, regardless but especially if you like her...

1. open doors

2. walk on the right side; the right side is the outside

3. if she's important to YOU, tell her she's beautiful

4. protect her

5. ask questions

6. make her feel special

7. ask for her help

8. be a gentle-MAN

9. be respectful

10. give up your seat

11. help her with her coat

12. help her down the stairs

13. give up your seat

14. ask her if she needs anything

15. tip WELL

16. carry bags

17. take her out

18. don't walk ahead of her

19. don't walk behind her; walk with her

20. listen to her; remember small things about her