Monday, September 27, 2010

Long Distance Relationships; Friend or Foe?

Long Distance Relationships. Is it the perfect relationship because you all are not pressuring one another, all in each others face? Or does it lack authenticity when you need that touch and you can't get it? Should there be rules? What kind of rules? How do you make it work?

In situations in which you are not dating anyone else; not because you can't, but just because you don't want to. I would rather be with one man who makes me happy 96% of the time than to mess around. Now if he's messing around; thats another story. Not saying that its ok for a man to be involved with another woman when he claims to be in a relationship; but men will be men. I don't agree with cheating. I agree with monogamy; I believe in it. I believe that it can work. I feel as if it all can work.

In a Long Distance Relationship you need Trust, Independence, Commitment and a Schedule.
Commitment goes without saying; we clearly are trying to make this work so lets decide if were committed apart or just committed together. Because there is a difference. Trust; you have to have trust because without it your relationship will not stand the test. As a woman, I have to not let my insecurities get the best of me. I have to believe that when he says' 'I'll call you right back' that he is not calling someone else. I have to believe it because if I don't; I will drive myself wild. Independence. Im learning this one slowly. You have to still enjoy yourself; if you don't you will be miserable thinking that you have to sit in the bed waiting on him to call. Have fun, but not to much. Schedule. Make time for one another. Speak frequently. Text, Send pictures (no face).

So my question is; are long distance relationships your friend or your foe?

The Pros to Long Distance Relationships
1. Whenever he sees you, you are on point.
2. It is always intense; sex is intense; kissing is intense; looks are intense....everything is intense
3. You realize if its for you- by this I mean you realize if you can handle it and is it worth it

The Cons
1. Arguments; in LDR's one argument can change everything.
2. Schedule conflicts; one of the hardest things to me has been not being able to speak with him when I want to. Him not being available when I need him, or shall I say want.
3. Miscommunications; One of the hardest things that your relationship will encounter will be miscommunications...if thats the right phrase. One wrong moment, one wrong anything can change everything.

Every relationship is different. Every man is different from every woman but we all have some commonalities. We all love-love. We all love to be loved. In a LDR, you have to make sure that you all are doing everything it takes to make one another feel that way. I will not say he is perfect because trust me he is not. but there is nothing about him I'd change...well maybe a few...