Friday, October 8, 2010

backlashes of a LDR

This is getting out of hand. I miss him entirely to much. I knew that I should have not done this but I did. Willingly. Crazy, who just falls in love and decides that a long distance relationship can work. I guess someone with faith, someone with enough love that it will all work out. It is still to much. I just want to wake up and your there. Text and you respond, call and you answer. I think all of that may be to much to ask for. I guess everything can't be perfect.

Friday, October 1, 2010

Tell me another lie

One of my favorite songs by NeYo is "Tell me another lie" in this song NeYo talks about knowing his partner is cheating on him but he would rather her continue and lie to him. In relationships I find myself being passive but in my "real'' life I am more aggressive. There are always things that I know but I would rather not discuss; sometimes there serves no purpose to discuss an issue and create a bigger problem when you are not planning on walking away for good. I think womens' intuition is 92% right. Every time; well most of the time when I've thought something was wrong it was. The reason I don't discuss or bring up every issue is because I don't want to fight. I want to believe everything you tell me; I feel as if I should believe everything you say. 
I also believe that allowing people to continue to lie to you will cause you to finally leave over something small and minute. 
So do you believe that it is ok to let someone continue lying because you would rather not be hurt? Sometimes lies just sound better than the truth. Or what about those guys who make you think they have been telling the truth but really they have been telling you the opposite of the truth? 

"I just wanna be NUMB
I don't wanna feel a thing
I don't want reality
Actually, reality stinks" 

Those are lyrics from NeYo's song "Lie to me"
Reality does suck sometimes. I hope I don't ever become the girl who thinks that everything a man says to me is a lie. I'd rather believe that everything he says is the truth. I'd rather everything just be the truth. I'd rather not have to question whether this may be true and this may not be true. I don't ever want to get to the point when my reality sucks and my dreams are better. I'd rather my reality be so great, that I dread dreaming. But, maybe Im the only one who has been in relationships where sometimes you'd just rather hear a lie. Maybe, you are the one who is telling the lie and that man is believing you. Thats cool. But, im all for honesty and loyalty. 

Although, Im only 20 sometimes I think about what it would be like to be with one man for the rest of my life and start a family. I could be with one man. If we had God, stable careers (well he had a stable career), stable finances...I could do it. but I guess this is another post... 

ttfn...