Trust

When trust is lost, what is left?

The worst thing you could do is not believe someone when you used to believe every word they said. Trust is the most important part of any relationship

If I'am losing trust, than I am losing faith. I am losing the things that kept me close to you is pushing me away because I am so scared that I could never trust anything you say. 

My relationship has had many issues. Many issues that I keep to myself. I have learned that in relationships you must pick and choose your battles. Relationships are hard. Hard, but not impossible. The one thing I hate is when people lie to me, because once you start lying you have to keep on lying. I hate it, the easiest thing that you can do is keep lying.

When you lose trust, you also lose your ability to fight back. The power of manipulation is real, I know someone who is extremely good at that. Men are extremely good at making you the bad guy when they messed up.

without trust, there is nothing.
when you lose trust, all there is doubts...mentally conquering the idea that you may not be the only girl.
mentally understanding that forgiving can be done but you must also let go of the issue and forget. You can't get to happy by always going through sad. 

Tell me another lie

One of my favorite songs by NeYo is "Tell me another lie" in this song NeYo talks about knowing his partner is cheating on him but he would rather her continue and lie to him. In relationships I find myself being passive but in my "real'' life I am more aggressive. There are always things that I know but I would rather not discuss; sometimes there serves no purpose to discuss an issue and create a bigger problem when you are not planning on walking away for good. I think womens' intuition is 92% right. Every time; well most of the time when I've thought something was wrong it was. The reason I don't discuss or bring up every issue is because I don't want to fight. I want to believe everything you tell me; I feel as if I should believe everything you say. 
I also believe that allowing people to continue to lie to you will cause you to finally leave over something small and minute. 

So do you believe that it is ok to let someone continue lying because you would rather not be hurt? Sometimes lies just sound better than the truth. Or what about those guys who make you think they have been telling the truth but really they have been telling you the opposite of the truth? 

"I just wanna be NUMB
I don't wanna feel a thing
I don't want reality
Actually, reality stinks" 

Those are lyrics from NeYo's song "Lie to me"

Reality does suck sometimes. I hope I don't ever become the girl who thinks that everything a man says to me is a lie. I'd rather believe that everything he says is the truth. I'd rather everything just be the truth. I'd rather not have to question whether this may be true and this may not be true. I don't ever want to get to the point when my reality sucks and my dreams are better. I'd rather my reality be so great, that I dread dreaming. But, maybe Im the only one who has been in relationships where sometimes you'd just rather hear a lie. Maybe, you are the one who is telling the lie and that man is believing you. Thats cool. But, im all for honesty and loyalty. 

Although, Im only 20 sometimes I think about what it would be like to be with one man for the rest of my life and start a family. I could be with one man. If we had God, stable careers (well he had a stable career), stable finances...I could do it. but I guess this is another post... 

ttfn...

Are you telling the truth?

I wonder sometimes what will bring the truth out of certain people AND then I find myself wondering why do you even lie? Was the purpose of this lie to passify and or justify your actions? But trust, that everything that is done in the dark will definately come to the light. Sometimes I wonder why? Why do I do the things that I do; living my life like its just for you? I didn't mean for that to be a corny rhyme but really I want to know. I can not figure out what I am actually doing wrong but I do know that I am not doing everything the right way. But what is the point of lies? I guess to protect you, maybe to even hold you over...

You say that you love me...
are you telling the truth
You say that it's just me and you...
are you telling the truth
You say that we can conquer the world...
but i can barely conquer all of you...
are you telling the truth
You say if there is a storm, we can endure it together...
but it's storming outside
are you telling the truth
You say yes, but maybe you mean no
You said that everything would work out...
I'am still waiting
are you telling the truth
Im always waiting, but what am I waiting for?
Am I waiting for you to tell the truth???