you.

you can sit there and be so blue
you can sit there and i just realize thats you, being you

random thoughts going through my mind

cheating, bored, ready to go, need friends, need a car, need him, unappreciated, girlfriend #2. lsat, law-school , growing up, bull shit, him. insecure......

storm.

love can inspire a storm.

boredom blog

This Christmas break sucks bad.
you would think that since i had a boyfriend id be excited, having fun and doing shit. -_- nope
I have been here 18 days. been in the house 14 of these days.
I have no girlfriends to call and bug
I don't want to get shot, so im not going to the club.
yea, my life is fucking exciting. Christmas was good. I am blessed.

Am I really that bad?

Men like women who are unavailable. Even in relationships. I am always available. So that equates that my man gets annoyed by me frequently.

So I guess here is where I admit my flaws: I am that girlfriend who calls and text all day and it is solely because I have no one else to call and text all day. 

I love my boyfriend but maybe I need other things to do. Like read a book. Write on the blog more...I don't know. 

I need to figure out how to have my own life. smh 

the trending topic on twitter is #iprefer and I generally I don't participate in shit like that so I wont participate on twitter but I will on this blog

#iprefer you over anything in the world
#iprefer to not be ignored; just respond

#iprefer loving you

#iprefer making love to you

#iprefer youandI.com meandyou.com

#iprefer you being my bestfriend, my homie, lover and friend. 

#iprefer us

#iprefer talking it out, over fighting 

Long Way Down

Have you ever been inspired by a song, a moment or even just the time. I said I was searching for a song that inspired my love. Keyshia Cole's song "Long Way Down" is my inspiration. I love it.

Already had me a cheater and mistreater, 
Already been with a flosser and smooth talker, 
I've had a betrayer something like a player, but that ain't what I want no more, 

10 great things about you.

1. Your beautiful
2. Amazing
3. Talented
4. Loving
5. Giving
6. Smart
7. Loyal
8. Love of my life
9. Dedicated
10. Sweet; trying to think of a more masculine word for sweet.

bonus**** your the SHITTTT
and your perfect----> not really perfect but you know what i mean
and i love you


Soulmates,
forever and always

too much love

this is the blog of an over-loving love-aholic.
people always admit to over-loving; but what exactly does that mean?
I can admit that love is a drug; definately not the drug I intended to be hooked on.
What is the cure for over-loving?
meeting someone who loves just as much and as hard as you?

Trust

When trust is lost, what is left?

The worst thing you could do is not believe someone when you used to believe every word they said. Trust is the most important part of any relationship

If I'am losing trust, than I am losing faith. I am losing the things that kept me close to you is pushing me away because I am so scared that I could never trust anything you say. 

My relationship has had many issues. Many issues that I keep to myself. I have learned that in relationships you must pick and choose your battles. Relationships are hard. Hard, but not impossible. The one thing I hate is when people lie to me, because once you start lying you have to keep on lying. I hate it, the easiest thing that you can do is keep lying.

When you lose trust, you also lose your ability to fight back. The power of manipulation is real, I know someone who is extremely good at that. Men are extremely good at making you the bad guy when they messed up.

without trust, there is nothing.
when you lose trust, all there is doubts...mentally conquering the idea that you may not be the only girl.
mentally understanding that forgiving can be done but you must also let go of the issue and forget. You can't get to happy by always going through sad. 

Just Breathe

I finally had the balls to tell what I knew. Now I don't know what's next...I don't see a break up...unless thats what he needs...we have been through more shit than this...so maybe we can fix it...hopefully.

I love you. Fix us. Love me right. Choose us.

unintentionally

you make me sick,

sick like the nervous butterfly feeling

how did you get my heart

you plan on giving it back?

broken?

ripped? 

bruised?

or do you plan on keeping it,

making it whole

repairing the damage, 

that you did to me

unintentionally

you

i knew you were lying, i wanted to believe you
believe in the 'you' that i want to believe in
i guess old habits don't die fast
i can't make a old man be a new man
i guess it doesn't make sense to fight if i don't plan on leaving you
why can't i leave you
leave you out cold, because i know your lying
your lies almost sounded believable
believable because i couldn't not believe you
you got caught, couldn't deal
i dealt, but i knew you were lying
i wanted to believe you

how do you do that?

You ever caught someone in a lie, knew they were lying and decided to just pretend like you believed them anyway? yea...#meneither.