just thinking

I have to stop and catch my breath. Have you ever been afraid of something that seemed perfect but been willing and open to something that was unstable? That is me. All of that running around, got me falling. What do you do when your heart and brain are on two different pages? and when they're on different pages it is so scary...I want to follow something...I want to follow the same road that will lead me somewhere but I have no clue where the hell I want to go. Crazy. Im going crazy. That is pretty much it. I don't want to lose control.