Monday, July 12, 2010

I used to think that men could be faithful. I used to believe that I'd be 'practically engaged ' by now. But now, im not so sure. Men can be faithful as long as the women they are cheating on does not find out. I don't think that men understand. I don't think that I can fully understand allot of things. Especially not men, not love...none of it. I think I want to be in a relationship but just when i meet someone who i'd even like to be in a relationship with, they screw me over. I think its me. It has to be me.

He said he told her he was leaving...I don't know if I even believe him. Maybe she's tired of him barely being there. Maybe she said get your shit and get the fuck out. That's what I would have done. I hope that people don't judge me for dating this man. This man who has a girlfriend. A girlfriend with whom he lives with. This girlfriend who clearly does not make him as happy as I do.

I think I'm dumb. I'm dumb enough to believe that the same shit he did to her, he wouldn't do to me. I get so mad. I jump to conclusions. and I'm extremely insecure. I feel like I let him get the best of me. Remember how Beyonce felt while playing Etta James when she was dating Chess, that's how I feel. I wonder how men can love two women at once. Which woman is the most important? I can only love one at a time. I can like allot; but LOVE there can only be 1.

What makes a man unfaithful? Or is it in the dna of a man?