Lately I have been finding myself searching for God. And I can not seem to find him. So I wonder am I living my life wrong am I a bad christian because not only am I doubting the love that I know God has for me but I am doubting myself. I did something that I should have not done and because of that I am nervous...but I am asking for Gods forgiveness...I know that I need to do better...but God has been on my side. I just am not on my own side? if thats possible..talking about God and believing are two totally different things. I can totally talk to you about how good God is to me but that does not mean that im not doubting his presence in my life. I love Jesus. I love him...but where is he? I have prayed not even for things but for necessities...like I keep smiling but I cant pay my bills...
And then I read this...
There are two kinds of conviction: one is a tool of God, the other a tool of Satan. Satan uses conviction to paralyze you, convincing you that you have no hope of change. He uses it to remind you of your failures long after God has both forgiven and forgotten them. Satan wrongly convicts you to rob you of your joy. In contrast, God uses conviction to cause you to turn to him for forgiveness and cleansing. He uses conviction to show you your need for a Savior and to draw you to him. So who’s wielding this tool in your life now?
The devil is not giving me any type of play
and i will not let the devil get the best of me.
i will not be weak
i will continue to pray
i will not fall victim
i will not be scared
i will be ok
i will be ok