Peace, be still!

there is a fine line between peace and the quiet before the storm. i believe i am in the quiet before the storm. im moving but im not making any noise. im talking but literally, i am not saying anything. i have declared that i dont want anything but i desire so much. i need so much. i desire to be happy, i look happy...but i am constantly trying to figure out if i am happy. i am blessed, I am positive about that. but happy, i am not that sure. i remember moving to find freedom to find, Jasmin. Jasmin is some where but far from everywhere. She has traded orange juice for wine and polite smiles for genuine laughter. Searching for something that she has no clue of. How do you complain when the struggle was your decision...I remember once i found happy and it didnt feel like this. i remember once i found peace...peace was still...but still this is not peace. you know how hard it is to be vulnerable when everyone thinks everything is perfect in your life. but who's life is perfect? there are millionaires who are unhappy and poverty stricken families who are happy. finding peace in the middle of the storm is what makes the most sense. im in this storm...winds are moving so fast...rain is pouring down but still im in peace. be still, and there will be peace.